Song and Dance
by GaleLeahy
Summary: With a smile, he realized it all started with a song and ended with a dance. My entry for MissEllie14's St. Berry Contest!


**A/N:**

**Hello all! This is my entry for MissEllie14's St. Berry Contest! I decided to make my entry a sad one with the theme a dance. The song I have used is 'Beautiful Mess' by Jason Mraz and I hope you all enjoy! **

White.

White walls, white outfits, white faces, white sheets.

Rachel had come to accept the fact that everything in her life was turning white.

It was merely three weeks ago that Rachel found out that pain in her side wasn't cramps. It was only a week ago that she was told there wouldn't be many more weeks. Only seconds ago had she realized that this was the end of it all.

It was after Regionals when it all had begun. Rachel had a very promising summer ahead of her, yet she knew part of that summer would be a process she liked to call wallowing. Rachel realized that her feelings towards a certain Jesse St. James had to be changed or else her life would be ruined. But, little did she know, her life was already ruined. After the doctors had told her the news, she figured that things would turn out for the best.

Until the day they told her that every minute was a miracle.

As she drowned in the empty white world she had called home, she realized there was no more will to live. She knew that she was losing more blood that humanly possible every time she threw up. Rachel realized that the weaker she felt, the less time there was.

Rachel also realized that everybody had given up on her. Only her daddy came by to visit her on a daily basis. She would never talk to him, but she was secretly glad that he came. Her understanding was that everyone was sick of her 'self-pity' and wanted nothing to do with her anymore. What she failed to realize was that everybody couldn't bear to think that this once-confident girl was slowly slipping away from them.

Ever since Rachel had found out she wouldn't make it past July, she had stopped talking completely. It frightened her dad deeply that his once-bubbly little girl no longer had that life in her. So, he just stopped coming. Rachel was used to sitting alone in her emotions, but there were no more emotions inside of her. Everything she had was now taken away by the cruel hand of fate, who she swore up and down was out to get her.

It was just another Tuesday to Rachel. Nobody had come to visit; there were no more empty comforts from anybody.

A knock sounded on the edge of the hospital door, but Rachel didn't bother to look up. She figured it was just another nurse who was there to try and 'save her life' or something along those lines.

"Hello Rachel," A soft voice echoed in the barren room.

Rachel's head snapped up to look at the figure standing in the middle of her room, hands shoved deep in his pockets. Jesse St. James met her eyes and gave her the best smile he could come up with. Rachel just continued to stare blankly at him, not having any spark left in her.

Jesse walked closer to her and sat at the foot of her bed. "I heard that you weren't doing so great. Got a little cold, I suppose?"

Jesse stared at her lips intensely to see if even the shadow of a smile would grace them, but his efforts failed. Rachel just continued to stare at him, her expression still blank.

Jesse thought a moment before continuing his talking. "I flew back from LA to drop in and see you. I was going to bring you something, but I figured the last thing you would want is my horrid cooking."

Again, Jesse's efforts to make her smile were failed. But, that didn't stop him from trying. He ran a hand through his hair, sighed, and then continued.

"Vocal Adrenaline lost Nationals this year. Shelby was really bent out of shape about it and I almost lost my UCLA scholarship over it. I would've deserved that, anyway."

If Jesse hadn't of ducked his head down, he would've seen Rachel slowly shake her head, wincing at the movement. So he rubbed the back of his neck before glancing back up at Rachel.

"I heard that you plan on auditioning for the community's production of _Funny Girl_, am I right? Well, I can certainly see you as Fanny Brice. You will blow the rest of them out of the park."

Jesse searched in her eyes to find a bit of the old Rachel, but he couldn't find anything. He was only met with a broken and empty stare. She did, however, curve her lips up for a fraction of a second before opening her mouth.

It took a few tries, but she finally managed to whisper to Jesse in a raspy voice. "You never lived up to your promise."

Jesse's eyes grew large before smiling at hearing Rachel's voice, but that expression quickly changed to confusion. "I didn't?"

Rachel proceeded to shake her head again, wincing. "You promised you would dance with me at my senior prom. You didn't."

Jesse tried to cover up the fact that his heart broke as she said this. He took a deep breath and stared down at his hands before rising to his feet and walking to the head of Rachel's bed. Giving her a small smile, he extended his hand out to where it was in front of her, bowing a little to hopefully get her to laugh. She stared at his hand and – at least for a moment – had an amused twinkle in her eye. She finally placed her paper-thin hand into his and he gently lifted her out of her bed. Setting her frail feet on top of his, he gently wrapped his arm around her tiny waist and clasped his hand around hers and lightly as he could. He glanced down at her with loving eyes before kissing her forehead softly.

"Ladies and gentlemen, your Prom King and Prom Queen of McKinley High Mr. Jesse St. James and the lovely Ms. Rachel Berry," Jesse whispered into Rachel's ear, his heart rate increasing as a tiny grin crossed her face. He then proceeded to slowly waltz with her lying limply in his arms.

_Although you are biased I love your advice__  
__Your comebacks they're quick__  
__And probably have to do with your insecurities__  
__There's no shame in being crazy,__  
__Depending on how you take these__  
__Words I'm paraphrasing this relationship we're staging_

Jesse sang lightly as he slowly turned around as Rachel put her head into Jesse's chest. He scooped her up into his arms with one swift moment and, after realizing she was asleep, lay down on the bed with her in his arms. He continued to hum the song gently until Visiting Hours were over and he was forced to leave the peacefully sleeping Rachel. Right before he walked out the door, he turned around, kissed her on the forehead and lingered above her for a second longer.

"I love you," Jesse muttered, his fingers lightly tracing circles into her arms.

In her sleep, Rachel smiled and then turned back over and Jesse took a deep breath before walking out of the room.

The next day when he came to visit Rachel, her room was empty. Frantically, he ran down the hallways yelling out her name. A few of the nurses grabbed hold of him and told him what he had feared deeply since he had received the call from Artie nearly three days ago. He tried to break loose of their hold, but there were simply too many of them for him to break loose. So Jesse St. James collapsed to the floor of the hospital and cried.

Rachel's funeral was far too humble for Jesse's liking. Only the Glee Club members and Rachel's dads were there. Shelby hadn't even bothered to come because she was too busy with Beth to set aside a day to mourn the loss of her real daughter.

Jesse St. James was the last one to leave the cemetery. He glared down at the simple tombstone that held Rachel's name and a tiny gold star next to it. He occasionally reminded himself that he needed to continue breathing. For Rachel.

He bent down and kissed her tombstone before taking a deep breath.

"Hey Rachel; I hope you're doing all right. I just wanted to tell you that everything that has happened in the past is something I will always regret. That egg and that song…it wasn't me, Rachel. It was this soulless automaton that used to be me for the longest time. Rachel, I'm so sorry that things had to turn out the way that they did. You were the only thing that ever mattered to me in this world and now you're gone. I don't get why life has to be so unfair to those who deserve everything in the world. But, you're not gone, Rachel. You understand me? I'm going to make sure that you and your extremely important metaphors never leave this earth. I-I'm doing this for you, Rachel Barbra Berry. Because I love you."

And with that Jesse St. James walked away from the only true love his life would ever know, tears streaming down the once-emotionless face. He smiled slightly at the fact that it all started with a song and ended with a dance.

_Hey, what a beautiful mess this is__  
__It's like picking up trash in dresses__  
__Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write__  
__Kind of turn themselves into knives__  
__And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction__  
__But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear__  
__'Cause here we are, here we are__  
_


End file.
